The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
