ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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