So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize
