If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
