last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
