Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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