The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i love accidental penises.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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