he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
