I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
