Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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