Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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