i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
