Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
