The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
