i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Are we still banned from the library?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize