idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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