Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We left the knife in your bed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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