YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
