It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
