coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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