How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
