so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
did i just pee glitter
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
