Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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