whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize