that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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