But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
