I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
