Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
