I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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