Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
