i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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