Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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