Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
