This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
