i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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