the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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