Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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