the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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