I want to make a zoo with you.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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