i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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