dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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