I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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