Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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