just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
They have beer where we have blood.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize