It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
