We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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