I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
