I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
