So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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