Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sarahbjones hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that

Fav 35 995 5792
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

Fav 21 6971 1167
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.

Fav 24 4399 1001
share tweet
(619): View more from California

just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.

Fav 16 5585 1140
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted

Fav 7 4413 953
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo

Fav 41 6091 2073
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?

Fav 10 3479 1139
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?

Fav 3 736 484
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.

Fav 0 117 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT