The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
