yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
