I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
