Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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