If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
