Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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