I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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