how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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