porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
