mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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