I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think I just sharted jello shots
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
