Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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