If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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