Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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