I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
