My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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