becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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