I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
